Don’t most artists come out with an album, release a few singles, do a tour, and then go away for a while? Why is Rihanna the exception to this general rule?

Dear Rihanna,

We need a break, seriously. You are in every song on the radio and not in a good way.

Although I’ve enjoyed gems like “Birthday Cake” and “Cheers,” I think it’s time to take a hiatus (as long as you need!). After all, you don’t want to end up in the hospital for exhaustion or dehydration like many celebs.

I will miss thought-provoking lyrics such as the ones below, but I’m willing to make the sacrifice.

“He want that cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake. Bet ya wanna put your name on it.”

Note: this is not an exaggeration and is the exact count of how many times she says the word cake.

“Cheers to the fricken’ weekend I drink to that, yeah-e-yeah Oh, let the Jameson sink in I drink to that, yeah-e-yeah.”

“Shine Bright like a diamond. Shine Bright like a diamond. Shining Bright like a diamond.”

Sincerely,
Alison